Friday, October 24, 2008
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11:47 AM
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So...yup,I'm done, i'm officially out from NTU. A decision which i tot i didn't have enuf courage to make in e past had finally been made. All e pain and struggle of studying sth which i have e least interest in was gone. A weight off my shoulders i would say...
Applied for Junior police officer but it seems like ages before they could get back to me. Heard that their admin work is horrible haha well lets hope i can get in soon. Planning to sign on for couple of yrs and maybe pursue NIE 4yrs course to be a sec sch teacher. Ppl may ask me why sign on police n not straight away pursue NIE? Well people being a police officer has been my dream ever since i was a child. Teaching and sharing my experience with e younger generation is sth i also enjoy doing too. I don intend to sign on with police til i'm old but i would love to get a few yrs of work experience in e police force. So while waiting for bond signing i'm working at Comfort Delgro engineering as a temp admin staff, i can simply say office work sucks haha...too boring and i seem to be e youngest there man haaa.....
Monday, September 29, 2008
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10:28 AM
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A simple action which i tot everyone would dismissed it as a normal casual conversation but no it stirred alot of misunderstandings and worst of all i got scolded by my leader. I got to admit i was very furious at e very moment you rained scoldings on me but after i reflected on e whole incident after i cooled down, i realised u do have yr reasons for scolding me and i know it was partly my fault too.
But you see it was actually nth at all!! Maybe sometimes e way i do things is alittle bit too straight forward and they tend to be misunderstood. Grace i'm so sorry really but i do hope u understand tat i meant nth at all. Sorry if my way of handling stuffs seem questionable but e truth is my intention is very very simple,just so simple nth to be doubtful of. Maybe i shd have put myself in yr shoes and see things from yr perspective which i failed to do so and i regretted for not doing so. I just want to let u know that i'm 21 and i am matured enough to think for myself and to draw clear lines between whats wrong n right. Believe me my intention is simple but i do understand from your side.
All in all i reali wanna clear up e mess. Hope we can clear things up after we have a talk.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
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11:31 PM
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Term break now...as much as i want to study and understand all the concepts taught , i simply cant. Its not easy for me as my foundation in physics has been quite weak all along ever since sec 3 and i cant realli master e skill of analysing and applying formulas to solve those problematic Physics Qns. Even my strongest subject,mathematics,seems shaky. Part 2 of first semester is just days ahead and lecture notes are getting thicker n thicker and tutorials piling up gosh i really dont understand! I studied i really did but the most recent tutorial i cant even sovle a single qn out of 5. Life's getting dry in uni and the feeling of being cooped up in a small corner of my study room, staring at e questions and cracking yr head to solve e qns but to no avail is really a torment. I wanna break FREE!! Suddenly i feel like going for overseas holidays, feel like putting everything aside and travel to different parts of e world. Frankly speaking S'pore is 2 boring... no clean crystal clear sea water for snorkelling or do some nice nice water sports. No 4 seasons. 2 developed 2 stressful and in S'pore speed limit is onli 90km/hr yeah. I'm being cooped up! But i don't have e financial power n time to travel as of now..... I received this piece of devastating news from e dentist days ago n i din know the truth was so much worse than i have expected. I went to replace e fluoride filling which had dropped off from my front tooth and to my horror the cavity has became bigger! The dentist told me its gonna be the last time he could replace e filling for e cavity is realli big and my that my front tooth might chipped off if i were to bite something real hard. If this really happens, i will have to go for teeth crown, a special single artificial tooth. It cost around 750-1500!!!! Man shits happen now n then and i hate to let this dental issue eat into my savings for my class 2 bike. Its realli getting on my nerve! Chance upon this nice song on power 98 and this song simply keeps playing on my mind. Anyway this song is ' The man who cant be moved' I also want to be e man who cant be moved haha when it comes to waiting for someone who i love. hehe.
Monday, September 15, 2008
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11:25 AM
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Just came back from attending cousin wedding buffet dinner in Malaysia. Wedding here wedding there nowdays wedding is like a fashion trend going hahaha..Well to me marriage is like ermmmmm end to a person's freedom? more responsibilies? more problems and so on.. Life is so damn stupid why must we get sick of something that we see or do everyday. I have mixed feelings regarding marriages! haha well i'm just 21 still a long way to go before talking about settling down. I still got my damn 4 yrs dreadful sucky painful crappy and irritating University course to finish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMN IT!
I went to Police webby to look up on their rank and salary scale , well with my A level Qualification i can onli be a small police officer fetching a monthly pay of 2000plus. Thats very little to me but u know what? Life is short la don need to put yourself through shit n get nth out from it. My friend graduated from uni with a third class engineering and freak! He is still jobless after few mths! And some jobs even need u to go through some crap probation to see if u can make the mark. Com on I HATE THIS! ! ! Well this world is all about money! Money controls the world! Its e root of all evil deeds of mankind! But without it the world will stop spinning, ppl study n work their whole life for e sake of money..So don;t ever look down on that small little piece of 5 dollar notes! It controls our life. Hahaha.
Well i think i going crazy soon if this goes on and on and on...stuffing those whole big chunk of formulas and notes into my brain.I seriously think Uni is making fun of us. They expect us to study like we have no life. Today i woke up late for e LAB session and u know what? I feel nothing about it..I heck care it and go back to slp and by then i just realised how much passion i have left for studies. IF this goes on and push me nearer to e edge i am realli going to think about working already. At least can buy a house after few yrs and buy myself my dream bike.
I HATE CARSSSSSSSSS........
Friday, September 5, 2008
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12:46 PM
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I have alot of things to pour out from my heart..Alot of thoughts n alot of words to say but i don't know where to start from.
Into e sixth week of uni, just onli six weeks and it seems tat they have already covered alot of stuffs. Friends can magically complete their tutorials after every lect but no matter how much i wan to , i'm always behind them. Its hard to pick up i have to admit. The anger in me when i just simply need more time to understand e concepts and the low low feeling when i find it hard to participate in discussions with my limited knowledge.
Nah don't feel like talking about it anymore. Sure there r happy stuffs to talk about man. Went to have botak jones fish n chips at serangoon area with biker friend wei liang before heading for chomp chomp to meet up with e cell grp members. Had a second round of dinner haha a seafood dinner , well everytime i hang out with them i feel very happy , they are like brothers n sisters to me very family feeling. Pillion Samantha Jess n Jan for a short while just now haha they are realli light on my bike and that explained e thrill u girls got. Sam kept asking me to be careful haha sure lifes important i will cherish it dont worry k Sam?
Haha tml Derek is joining us at city harvest wah long-time-no-see tracker friend of mine. A friend who was always there to cheer me up whenever i'm down n out during sec sch days,i realli start to miss my tracker life in AISS. Memories n memories,sweet n bitter if given a chance i would like to experience those sweetest moments in my life again.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
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9:23 AM
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Wooo into e third week of uni. Made some gd friends around here n there haha most impt i found my clicks..attend lect tgt,eat lunch tgt and talk rubbish tgt hahaa...
Its kindda tiring to print notes , to attend endless lect and tutorials. All these stuffs are drving me crazy!! Independent learning..must be self motivated and most impt of all effective time management. Do i have what it takes? Arghh time can make everything known to me.
Oh ya i joined dragonboat as my cca. Reason being ha i love sports that focus on team spirit and most impt of all brings my fitness to the next up up up n up level haha but e first training was like hell , it left me vomiting in e toilet n gosh two cramped up legs for nearly half an hr. Yes i suffered , it was very miserable n i had to hide myself in e toilet as i was temporaily 'immobilised' by e terrible cramps on my legs. The training is no joke. It really made me disheartened. Quiting was what i had tot of. Nah It was jus a thought. Commandos don't quit.
What i actually did next was to do a self reflection in my hall. Tots swirling around and i cant think straight, piles of tutorials on e corner of my desk and a empty wallet on top. I realised i'm going through some rough patches, i'm 21 and its time to focus on what i have to do for a better future ahead but it seems that i lack e motivation n passion which i would never run out of in e past. I wondered would i be worrying about my financial status had i not been so stubborn to spend so much money on useless stuffs and only to regret it after some times. CRT lenses stupid ex LG phones and a xbox 360 with serious hardware failure n a over priced but under power motorbike. I wondered would i worrying about my fitness level had i make it a point to exercise more before going into dragonboat? I wondered would i be worrying about my academic had i put in more effort to study during my jc school term?
Well one thing which makes me feel better is i know i have alot of friends around me supporting me. A person must have a good network of friends in order to survive and i do know friends are part of my life n i cant do without them. I joined Yee Shang they all for church service again in search of spiritual support and it did help ...Wonderful encouraging speeches made by special guest realli inspired me alot. Got to know this girl named Yulu in their cell group who is actually studying e same course as me!so qiao.. HAha got time perhaps can intro me to yr 'once loners' clicks haha..Alright ppl time to move on..nah if u think i gonna quit its impossible but friends, do pray for me to remain strong in time of adversities.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
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9:36 AM
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First of all i want to wish myself a very happy 21st birthday :) Thanks to those who remember this special day of mine and giving me your great wishes! Basically i had a wonderful time today went seoul garden with my friends before catching a hilarious movie call ' GET SMART' at around 9 20pm.. Reached home just right in time to cut my durian birthday cake..Thanks to my sis who bought me this wonderful birthday gift :) Finally i'm 21 officially an adult..
Weeks before my birthday , i was planning how grand i gonna make this special event to be but it seems that everyone is either busy working schooling or serving army on such a weekday caught right in e middle of e week so in e end i make it simple by celebrating it with my work pals and family but it was great seriously and I realli cant ask for anything else.
Left with 2+ weeks contract and i wonder if i will realli miss my workplace..all in all i have been working there for e past 6 mths,the bond that i have forged with MC team and the times we spent together picking wires and trying funny things here n there. But sad to say we e temp staff have to leave to continue pursuing higher academic height in uni, the last barrier before we can actually step out into the real world to work.
Life will be hard with no paper qualification ,its damn cruel and i know i have to accept it. I'm 21 i should really learn how to think,plan for my future and make wise decisions to make positive impacts in my life. No more lying to myself and running away from problems..no more selfish decisions no more childish thinking. Its time to strive hard for my future and of course after 20 yrs of living and serving the army for 2 yrs it onli makes sense for someone to be well mentally drilled to prepare for any possible rough patches in his life ahead so jia you Kev for i know u can do well in e future...no more a child no more a teenager u r someone who can think and act accordingly to situations.
Once again happy birthday to meee :)
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